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Mohammed bhamjee

Bhamjives

sour cream and Bhamjives answers to all... But he is busy so don't expect a reply very soon?

90 Replies

Would you consider yourself a complainer ?

A complainer?
Me?
A complainer?
???
Yeah obviously I'm a damn drama king ?
If I don't get food i complain because frankly food is BAE!!! ?
Then I complain because I do not get ponani ? I mean there are so many H2hoes out there and yet I'm still so dry and thirsty ?
Like in a world where you had to write complaints on a R10 bill is be a frikken billionaire ??.
I mean don't you hate it when you buy sht and like when you try it on at the store sht that sht looks classy or sick af but then Ohhh when you take it home and try it on its like these cashiers are swapping our sht with some other kind mf sht ??? because this sht don't fit right when it's tried on at home ??.
Also expectations vs reality pisses me off ? Like on insta there's three types of people.
1) Either look average in pics and super flaming in reality.
2) either flaming af on insta and in person they still flaming af ?❤️
3) they are basically Instagram models. They helleeva nxa in pictures but in reality ... Even my A$$ has better features then their faces?
??no I'm lying please don't kill me ? I love ugly people. ??

Lolololololollolololol.

If you really wanna hear me complain fam!!!
Come and chill with me during a fcking Arsenal game ??? then wherever I am turns into a war zone. It's like world war 1 & 2 ? Because Arsenal are extremely good damn like the way they play is like tiki taka tiki tiki tiki tiki taka ???. Their game is better than most fckboys I know ????? including me ofcourse ?

But yes to summarize all the unnecessary sht that I said ?? i am a complainer and a flippen big one actually ?❤️

Bhamjives replied 3035 days ago 6

I saw you tonight at rosebank?

Nxxaawwhhh. You noticed me?! ?
I feel honored ?
Thanks friend or hater or whatever I can call you ?

Though the whole of Instagram was at rosebank ??. I'm sorry I exaggerate ? Sue me I'm Indian ?
If you saw me why didn't you come on over and say hi???
I'm not stuck up maybe abit of a btch but like who isn't these days ??.
Anyways next time lets get a cupa coffee or something ???
Whether you are a rapist or nah ??
Just remember
Always remember that only a thief enters through the back door ???

Bhamjives replied 3035 days ago 2

If you were a superhero, what would you call yourself?

The condomiser
Or
dcktanium the wonder dck
Or
Hairy kipotterrr (because like my bush is long? And also my glasses oh oh and I never mean the bush you thinking off!!! That was dirty from you ? I was talking about the green stuff that grow and you must mow it ? And when I say green stuff I do not mean that I'm hulk ???)
Or
s*ckerDiCock ?

Sorry my mind is very filthy I shall go and wash it with jik ???

Bhamjives replied 3035 days ago 1

Are you dating Nazmeera ? (:

Am I dating Nazmeera?
Am I dating?
Am I?
Am?

The answer to that kind of a question is simple my dearest bestest person whoever you might be ?

1) I will not have Dates anymore for Ramadhaan is over. ?
2) I was such a hoe that I had 10 dates in Ramadhaan every day. Yes I know I know the kajoor effect was overwhelming ? I had a wet dream every day atleast 3 times a day because ya know 3 is sunnah ??.
3) i don't date. Well I kinda do but that's not the point the point is that until I find a nice loyal hoe like you know the woman from deadpoll yeah his wife. Damn that girl is den kak fine ???. Well until I convert a $exy af ***** to a loyal $exy mf. That is the day I will date until then I will remain single forever ??.
4) I'm a man ***** tbh ???. I'm not proud of it but as you can see above I have no choice?
5) whoever you are please find me a nice $exy hoe ?

Okay no but jokes aside I'm helleva not loyal but I really do respect girls and if you think about it I'm actually thee most honest man ***** you will ever find ??.
Legit now I'm not dating anybody
I'm loyal to people if I ever date
I'm currently single and will always remain this way for reasons I already explained

Anyways no I'm not dating Nazmeera she's just like a sister to me. That is the truth the whole truth and nothing but the truth.

Anyways please come back later ?

QOOH.me again ☺️☺️☺️

Bhamjives replied 3042 days ago 1 3

Bhamjee ? Guess who?

Who?
Me?
No you!
No me?
Yesss?
Youu!!

What am I doing even ??
I'm really bad at guessing ?
But I think I got it...

A women's "I'll be ready on 5 minutes"
Is the exactly same as the men's "I'll be home in 5 minutes" ??
No? ? sht wait lemme try again ??

Lazy people fact #2387482901038377363719
-you were too lazy to read that number ???

Oh yes where were we? Oh yes guessing ??
I got a bad one this time ??... One minute of kissing burns 26 calories. No wonder those "****s" are so damn skinny ? ?????? forget I said that ?I give up just tell me ?

Wait wait last time ???

-you study you pass
You pass you get happy
You get happy you play
You play you get tired
You get tired you get sick
You get sick YOU DIE
Moral of the story ? DO NOT STUDY ???

Bhamjives replied 3121 days ago 2 3

Best bruh ? enjoy camp ??

Best bruhdat how can I if you ain't gonna be there ?? and No wonder the sky is so grey today, all the blue is in your eyes.❤️??

Miss you best ❤️

Bhamjives replied 3121 days ago

Muaaz jassat?

Jonny?

Bhamjives replied 3121 days ago

Flames???

'W h o s o e v e r y o u a r e'... ??

You are flames??.
Do you have a bandage because I hurt my knee falling for you ?✨.
Does your left eye hurt? Because you've been looking right this whole day ?
And sorry but you owe me a drink... Why? Because when I looked at you I dropped mines ?
Your beauty makes the morning sun look like the dull glimmer of the moon ??

Are you lost ma'am Coz like haven is along way from here ??

Thank you though ?

Bhamjives replied 3121 days ago

so u and naafia did date ,, would u and her ever date again ,? ? bc u's made a nice couple,,

Have you ever the heard the saying..."Once you go black you never go back"?...??

Yes yes that one... Now, same rules apply ?? after you eat a pizza and leave like the last slice that looked and tasted like kak ... do you go back and eat that sht a year later? ?? no no now we broke up for a reason? (She was the reason)? Now you don't go back you leave it for someone else ?

Comeback soon??


Bhamjives replied 3121 days ago

BHAMJEEE ?❤ I MISS YOU. -A.m

Heyyyy youu ?

Go away ??

I don't want you here ?

I want to sleep you disturbing me ?

Jk jk miss you too ?❤️

Bhamjives replied 3121 days ago

jives you broke my arm
Thanks a lot
Regards
Uwais Rajah uwaisrajah

Twiggy ?
Consider yourself twiggyfied ??
Btw you are a twig you were meant to snap ??
Jk jk sorry okay don't go cry now??. I would have given you a nasty look right now but eshhh you already have one ???
Just joookkkkiiinngg love you ❤️?

Bhamjives replied 3121 days ago

Since you friends with Muhammad Ravat , what happened with him and mahdiyah Moolla and is he single now ?

Yoooo yoooo yoooo fam calm down one question at a time ?? Yes Ravat is my brother ✌️. Basically you will have to find out from somebody else because faaaaammmmmm I really do not know about his love life and I don't plan on. All I know is that Ravat is still such a beast at ball and that Zuma is going to jail because him and the Gupta's didn't eat their vegetables and not eating your vegetables is bad for you because if you do not you will die ? Or land up in jail? Oh oh oh I almost forgot guess what ???!!!! Let me tell you a short story ?

A thief once broke into my house. So he started looking for money. I than got up and starting looking with him ??. The thing that I learnt from this is that I am broke af?? #ImOnABudgetFam ???

Bhamjives replied 3121 days ago 1

I realized that i've been annoying you on your DMS lately but I'd love to apologize and I kinda wanna be friends ? ?

Another one? ???

Bhamjives replied 3137 days ago 1

DM⬇

Another one ????

Bhamjives replied 3137 days ago

Is your bedroom huge ?
And what colour is it ?

My bed is huge my bedroom is small ??.
It's a cream colour with brown here and there. The one side of the wall is just a huge mirror ??

Bhamjives replied 3161 days ago 1
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