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The (un)coolest.
What does this even mean? What rules?
In that case, I’d love to know who you are. ?
I’m glad we can still be friends. I still adore you, and I make a great wing woman!
One night in the bedroom with Parrilla. If I tie her to the bedpost, she can’t leave. Smart, right?
I honestly don’t know what to say. I’m so sorry. I hope it doesn’t ruin our friendship, I’m sure you mean an awful lot to me. Trust me, you’re so much better off without being tied down to someone like me. The majority of my relationships have ended with my significant other resenting me or feeling unloved and unworthy. I’m just not a suitable lover, but I’m a loyal friend.
Noooo. Save yourself the trouble! ?
I’m pretty sure Drew will soon discover them all. Maybe even influence some new ones.
I have, and my answer is still the same: no. I still believe in love and all that jazz, but I’m in no position to commit to anyone. It wouldn’t be fair on them.
That would be telling. Only a handful of people know that. ?
...and now I’m insanely curious. ?
I think I know who this is. ?
NO. I missed your birthday? Girl, get over here as soon as possible. I’m spoiling you.
Of course I do! Hm. My date with @Stimulatixn is looking promising.
If I tell, others might get envious. I have a very good day ahead of me.
You had me at dinner, babe. Wine just sealed the deal! Just give me a date and time, and I’ll be there.
My tops? I know, I have great taste! Just kidding. Thanks, handsome. I think you’re their biggest fan.
✔️ All she needs is a little Loocy lovin’.
| Tf is your problem, lol? You don’t even know him. I’ve known and RP’d with him for over a year now. He’s incredible and I’m lucky to be his writing partner. You’re a shtty PERSON, and I’m afraid there’s no cure for that! ?
No. There are no (g)strings attached.
And excuse my French: YOU. ARE. fckING. ADORABLE. I’ve missed you, we really need to meet up and have a proper catch up soon, babe.
Then you’re in for a treat.
Charming.
I know, baby. Tonight. Promise. ?
You’re beautiful-er. ?
Qooh is a lil biatch and starred these out. If it’s what I think it means...both. But mostly the former.
That doesn’t sound like a bad idea.
Hi Brendon! I agree, we definitely should. I’ll follow you now, love.
Ooooh. Oh my God. I’m really in for a treat, aren’t I?
I haven’t yet dipped my toes into such waters, but I’m definitely not opposed.
That's an interesting scenario, I quite like it. If you reveal who you are, we can start talking dates, locations and times.
You do, do you?
This is the sweetest. I can't imagine anyone thinking so highly of me. I don't have strict rules against dating, it's just not something I'm actively seeking.
D e a n. Come back! You can’t just compliment a gal like that then run off.
As long as we have haggish for dessert. <3
I don’t need three guesses to know who this guy is.
I’d like to think I’m not an intimidating person! Telling someone how you feel about them is always difficult, but it’s also a huge relief. Plus, I'm very reasonable in the sense that I’d like to give everything and everyone a chance. So, you never know! It could work in your favour.
That sounds pretty damn nice.
Whoops. For the inconvenience, I’ll send a few signed copies.
She’s pretty hot. Not gonna lie. She’s right up there with Nattie.
Only a small handful. But I’m not exactly shy, so I try to push my nerves aside and approach people anyway. What’s the worst that can happen?
Hm. I would say it’s more of a natural part of life. It’s important in so many ways; we learn from it, and we grow from it.
Toilets. They get a lot of crap from everyone.
This is funny because I can literally use one hand to count the number of people I’ve slept with around here, but go off I guess?
Kate Beckinsale. What a darling.
Tonight. And Jurassic World 2. Whoa, I’m a geek.
You absolutely can. [Pats chest invitingly.]
They’re very...strong, and— I can’t give too much away. But even talking about them makes me weak at the knees. Oh, Gods.
I used to think so too. Brie’s utterly beautiful. But of course, she’s family now.
In particular? Hm. One person has caught my eye. But my lips are sealed.
I feel like I’ve known her f o r e v e r. She’s incredible, and definitely dateable. Who wouldn’t wanna date that beautiful, quirky bundle of joy?!
Oh, sure. Most people do, they just won’t admit it.
I simply adore him. He’s always there for me, he’s incredibly funny, charming, considerate and supportive. I don’t know what I’d do without him most days.
Only fools turn down free food.
Haggish and sconces, “complete stranger”.
No. I’m too inconsistent and unreliable. It’s not fair, and I wouldn’t put anyone through that again.
I haven’t thought about it. I don’t base my priorities on anatomy. If I wanna sleep with you, and you wanna sleep with me? Great! Shimmy outta your clothes.
Who the hell is Vincent?
Yes. It’s not as shocking as it sounds. It’s just two people who already know and enjoy one another. ??♀️
You had me at massage, mystery charmer.
It’d be a first for me, but sure. t*** AND dck? Count me in.
You could at /least/ treat me to dinner first.
I like being tied up, and I like doing the tying. Depends on my mood.
Who wouldn’t?
I’m working on it! I promise. I truly miss this place and you wonderful people.
What does this even mean? I’m not hip and up to date with text talk.
Bi-bi, baby.
Thank you for the heads up. Honestly.
You never fail to make me smile, Finn. Thank you for this. I love you too, and I’m so lucky to have a loyal, patient and considerate friend like you. ?
I don’t know who you are, sweetie, but I’m sure I miss you too!
The wrestler? Well, that’s new. Not that I’m complaining.
I love you too, girl.
Oh, I don’t plan to. I love that girl to death, she’s stuck with me.
Crush-wise? Not currently!
No, but I completely adore that girl.
I needed this. Thank you so much, sweet anon. I've missed everyone and I'm glad to be back.
Don't make me choose between Elf and Love Actually!
Both, I switch depending on my partner and mood.
Start with the former, end with the latter.
I have three! Nattie, Carmella and Charlotte. Such babes.
You’re such an arrogant git.
Alright, but. I’m absolutely certain Nicole has her own way of moving on, and as long as she’s happy, I can’t exactly judge that. I just refuse to be labelled the bad guy, since although I wasn’t the world’s best girlfriend, I definitely wasn’t the worst. And no matter what, I’ll never have a bad word to say about that girl. I still respect her, I just expected the same in return.
An airport. It was...interesting.
Is that so? That might’ve just made my morning.
| Thank you for giving me an opportunity to clear the air regarding this ridiculous situation. I have NO idea why people are making out as though Lucy is some godawful ex. As far as I’m concerned, their relationship was beautiful and both parties were happy. It came to an end because /I/, personally, lost muse for my account. It’s quite rubbish to know that Lucy’s name has been tarnished in the processes. She was never a bad girlfriend. I had no idea Nicole was so ‘depressed’ throughout their relationship, but all I can do is apologise. I wish she’d brought that issue to me sooner, rather than let people believe Lucy is to blame for the break up.
Aw! Love you too, babe.
This made my night. You too, honeypie!
Like, measuring jugs? Stay away from my kitchen.
Stay classy, baby.
SIGH. If it’s not me allegedly cheating, it’s her. Neither of us cheated, that’s the truth and it’s the last I’ll say it.
The most amazing woman you'll ever meet, duh.
I really want you to ask in DMs. I mean, it's not a secret but I still don't give it out publicly. Go ahead! I don't bite.
Stephanie Nicole.
I really am. I'm the luckiest woman alive.
Who doesn't? Unfortunately for you, that's my job. She's well taken care of.
Obviously my sister in law, @OfBchemia.
Right? But it's all mine.