River
rivercanoe
Yes, I'm really this bored. Ask me a question. With like, you know, a question mark at the end.
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Have you heard?
That bird is the word?
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I like *ex with you too
Yes, okay I think we've established that
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I like *ex with you
heh he he eehehehheheheheheheheheheheheheheheh I like *ex with you too ;)
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Can you see yourself in your friends or can you see qualities of your friends in yourself? Yeah, I'm bored. shannon500
I dunno Shannon, I'm tired. Go to bed.
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Your Dream Job?
To run an organisation that helps people get out of boring dead end jobs and get into creative professions, art, music, writing, etc. Or a scientific translator. Or, a caterpillar.
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Where do you want to live when you older?
In the city
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What is your ringtone?
Wow, That's Loud! by Green Day
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Who do you love more, mum or dad ?
What the f*ck kind of question is this?! Are you actually trying to get people kicked out of home?
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Are you a virgin?
I hate the word virgin. It’s such a weird concept. The idea that having done something or not done something makes you a different thing. You don’t have words for people who’ve never been on a plane or eaten sushi. It’s also weird, I think, that there is no opposite word for virgin. You know? Like you have virgins, and then you have normal people. And the oh so arbitrary line of penetrative s*x that defines this whole state change. Like, you can do oral and handies and an*** and a whole lot of ****, and you’re still a virgin (depending on your personal opinion), but you just happen to put this one thing in this one hole and BAM not a virgin. It’s so silly, doing this one particular thing. How someone who does an*** every single week with multiple guys and someone who likes to sit at home and… not do an***, are technically in the same category. And it’s so unimportant, how we put so much emphasis on having had *ex or not. Now how we have *ex or where we have *ex or with what we have *ex. How we pin this value on the word ‘virgin’, how our whole picture of someone changes just because they may or may not have done something. It’s not even if they DO have s*x. It’s if they HAVE had *ex. Most terms to describe people describe what they are now. Virgin describes something you did before. You’re gay because you DO like men, you’re fat because you DO weigh a lot, you’re smart because you DO think well, you’re a virgin because you HADN’T, in the past, ever before now, had s*x. The whole born-again-virgin thing says a lot about that, the fact that people feel the pressure to be something that they aren’t, when nothing is lost when having s*x. It’s ridiculous. We should really just say what we are, what we’ve done, and stop worrying about what anyone else has done. This isn’t dissing your question. I mean, there’s a more than large chance you have no opinion on virgininty at all, and you were just curious as to whether or not I’ve had s*x with someone or not. This is qooh.me after all. In regards to that, if you were close to me, you’d know, and if you’re not, then I guess you don’t need to ey. Because it really doesn’t matter. Yes this is an annoying answer, what of it?
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Biggest regret?
Reading this pathetic question.
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Whoa! I only found out henrick isn't living with you anymore? What happened?
Montanna got jelly of all the butt-*ex we were having. But seriously, it's probably not my place to be giving out the nitty-gritty details of why he's not living with me, but long story short, we're still good friends. He just happens to be living elsewhere now. 10/10 would roommate again.
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Your pretty
I literally giggled out loud at this Monty <3
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I know right? Some random question that is basically asking 'how shallow are you out of 10?' shannon500
Exactly. Even if you wouldn't, most people would say they would anyway
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Would you give a homeless person CPR if they were dying? Why or Why not?
If I knew how to CPR, yes. Of course. What the f*ck kind of question is this?
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who will win Big Brother?
George Orwell
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What are you doing these holidays?
Studying. And practise exams. And lectures. And studying. And practise exams. And lectures. And studying...
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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xEmVJHiPu-E can you drum like this please? you dont need to smoke, im against smoking but learn this song alright? Credibledunks
I love this video <3
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That was me, but for some reason it doesn't say me... Credibledunks
Don't worry, I felt it in my heart <3
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1.Wasn't me
2. We measured. Mine is bigger
3. I guess my pre-**** is pretty small though..... shannon500
Heh. Hehehehehe.
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more like most amazing ***** in the universe
Most amazing ***** in the universe. Five letters. I feel like I'm doing a crossword puzzle. Or I'm on Wheel Of Fortune. May I buy a vowel?
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You're not dating me
Shannon for the last time, just because it's really small, doesn't make you a girl.
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Who are you dating?
The most amazing girl in the universe.
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What do you do when you angry?
Get haemorrhoids.
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out of the people you know, who do you ship together?
I'm still shipping Shannon and Michaela tbh. That ship's been sailing for like 4 years now.
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If you could choose anyone (celebrity, person you actually know, fictional character) who would your zombie apocalypse team be? shannon500
You and Theo. And Superman.
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People who you'd like to stay in touch with after school?
Nothing against this question, but I've already answered it twice, go for a scroll.
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Who do you consider to be your bravest friend
Tristan.
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Why are you such an ***hole?
You know, when you're developing in the womb, you start off as a ring of cells, which eventually develops into an an**. You develop ***hole first. So for a brief period, we're all entirely an ***hole. As to why I'm still an ***hole, I can only assume magic.
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is it genophobia because of jeno? i think there's a strong enough coloration
That would make sense, especially if a small child had genophobia. (insert mandatory statement that Jeno is not actually a *ex offender here, as this is public domain)
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Erotophobia is a phobia of the erotic, such as images and stories, while Genophobia is the fear of the act itself. shannon500
Ah okay, so it's probably the first one.
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It's called Erotophobia. Unless it's like Genophobia or something. Don't ask how I just know this...... shannon500
Well I just learned something. Whats the difference between the two?
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Classic. People who have such a problem, want things to change, but do it annon. Classic.
Honestly do people expect change out of doing this annon?
People don't expect change, they just wanna rant. Which is fair enough, we all love a good rant ey
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It didn't look like your 'study' session after school was very productive. Seemed like Tristan, Kannan and Oscar were doing everything while you, Montanna and Claudia were chatting, probably about *ex.
Kannan and Oscar were writing some pretty good notes on Chemistry, but Montanna and I had already been over what they were doing on the weekend, so forgive me if I got a little bored. (Don't get me wrong, the board notes were awesome, and nice and colourful and neat too, we'd just already done it) We were soaking it in as revision, but we really didn't have anything to add to the conversation. You seem to have a real gripe about talking about *ex. What's the deal? I mean sure it wasn't chemistry, but why is *ex annoying in particular? I mean if you don't wanna talk about *ex then that's great (and I'd appreciate if you told me who you are so I can go ahead and not talk to you about it) but as it seems, Montanna and Claudia seem to be fine with it...
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Realistically, who do you intend on wanting to still see and remain friends with after school and next year? It sounds like you don't want to know anyone and it looks like a lot of them don't want to know you.
I've already answered this one, but it's a bit of a scroll so I'll answer it again. Honestly? Very very few people. It's one of the main reasons I want high school to end so badly. I like to be alone. Soooo to answer your question, there are plenty of people that I would like to see after high school, but the only people that I'm gonna actively put effort into seeing would be Montanna, Caitlin, Jacqui, Tristan, and Shannon. If people end up going to my university then I'll probably stay in contact with you too. And if you keep on asking me out for coffee, then unless I hate you (and I don't actually hate anyone) then I'll gladly see you every bloody week.
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I think letting them know your distancing yourself would have sufficed instead of just suddenly turning into a huge ***hole and no longer speaking to them for no reason.
It's not like I made a list of people that I decided to never talk to again. I've just decided to put more effort into school. It's just sort of happened. If me putting mort focus into homework and my closest friends makes me an ***hole, then an ***hole be I.
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Do you remember when you said how you didn't want to know about Henrick and shanas *ex life as you didn't want to know that stuff about your best friends? Well, no one wants to know about how you **** other people
Again, that's not really a question, so if you're just making a suggestion I'd suggest you tell it to my face. Because while I'm sure there are plenty of people who don't wanna know, I know there are some who do, so if you tell me to my face (or my Facebook) then I'll no who not to talk to. Muuuuch more helpful.
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Am I your anti-inspiration? shannon500
No, you're not, you actually have qualities I like, lol
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Who inspires you?
People I don't know include Galileo Galilei, Steve Jobs, Albert Einstein, Bill Nye, and Gerard Way. People I do know include Caitlin Kloppenborg, my parents, Montanna Leveque, Miss Barry, Jacqui Beaman, and Shannon McShortall. These are people who have certain aspects that I wish I had more of, the people that I really look up to. And one person who has traits I hope that I don't get myself, a sort of anti-inspiration if you will. PS #oxfordcommaftw
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Is that how you want to end your friendships with everyone?
Would you rather I set up a hate website and lose my friends that way? Maybe beat up their parents, or set their houses on fire. I hear killing people is a good way to end a friendship. I feel like simply removing myself from the equation is much more civil, don't you agree? I just need to focus on school, just for another few months, and I can't spread my attention too thin. I know not everyone needs to do that, but seeing as I very much want a very good score, and it's very important to me, then yes. This is how I want to do it. I'm flattered my friendship meant so much to you.
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It seems a little bit selfish of you to just suddenly decide that you want to cut out all of your friends from the past few years and make them feel like they're worthless and not speak to them in person about anything.
That's technically not a question...
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When was the last time you spoke with all your 'friends' together about something that didn't revolve about school or *ex?
Period 3. I do think I have a right, however, to focus on school and limit my other interactions to what's the most important, that being my family, my girlfriend, and my very closest friends. This is a weird question though, as you seem to be complaining about me changing, whereas in this question you're bringing up an issue that's been around for years. When haven't I been obsessed with *ex and school?
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How was your Monday?!
As good as Mondays get to be honest! Woke up awful and tired, felt sh*tty to everything, but I got some good scores back so that made things better. What about yours? And your Tuesday? Thanks for asking, sweetheart.
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All those insults you mentioned describe you perfectly.
Why thank you, I find it's particularly hard to describe the self. Hence why resume writing is so hard.
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wow. that last question! As if you can choose just one. Insults are so fun, but you can't have a favourite. Asking that of someone is just cruel. shannon500
Oh I know! And you need different ones for different times, like sometimes someone's being an *sshat, and sometimes they're being a f*ckwad. It depends.
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I find it strange how you don't want to feel uncomfortable around others, yet every second sentence you produce is either a *exual innuendo or something relating to ****ing.you wouldn't think that would make people feel uncomfortable?
I think that's more or less a result of my feeling uncomfortableness. Like, I don't know what to say, so insert f*ck joke here. I used to just be awkward and stuff, but then when I got into like grade 6/year 7ish, I started using dirty jokes as a fallback for when I had nothing to say. If it makes you so uncomfortable, why do you wanna be around me so much/want me to not push you away? If I had an annoying friend who always made jokes I didn't like, and they decided to just stop hanging around, I'd be damn relieved that I didn't have to go off and assassinate them, did the job for me. So yeah, the dirty jokes are a failsafe mechanism, and a result of my own feeling uncomfortable. Like how Chandler on friends uses sarcasm in order to lighten the mood, or how Shannon McShortall makes dead Dad jokes to take control of the conversation.
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Favourite insult?
I've always liked f*cknugget. Other favourites include d*ckwad, *sshat, d*uchewit, and Tony Abbot.
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Why are you pushing away all your friends? Thinking that they're a waste of your time to hang around with? It's only extremely insulting to everyone
Because I have school. School is most important. I'm only hanging out with people I can work with. I really can't handle that many friends. I'm not the most social person in the world. I find it difficult to be around heaps of people I know. I'm happy with a tight knit circle of a few friends. I'm finally living my life in a way I'm comfortable with, and I'm happier than ever. I hope you understand, because I didn't think you'd really want to be around someone who's extremely uncomfortable.
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What turns you off in a person ?
People asking stupid questions like this. But seriously, stupid questions are a big turn off for me. You know, the ones like "if I had no face, would you still love me?" or "if my v*gina suddenly closed shut, would you still love me?" or "if I were HIV positive, would you still love me?" You don't. So shut up.
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What freaks you out ?
Being around too many other people I know. Don't take it personally. I prefer one at a time. Go away please.
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How was your weekend?
How very sweet of you to ask! To be honest, it was absolutely awesome, I had two sleepovers with the girlfriend, watched a disturbing movie, went to the RMIT open day by myself without having to worry about stupid other people, and then had lunch outside the State Library in the rain. It was lovely :) RMIT is a beautiful campus, definitely my second choice. What about you, how was your weekend?
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What is the saddest thing in life?
Looking back on missed opportunities. It's cliché, but when you are reflecting back on life, mistakes really aren't as important as the times when you didn't even try. No ragrets.
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Which friend would you take a bullet for?
First person who comes to mind is Caitlin Kloppenborg. Coz she's so much more awesome than I. There are a couple of others too. Even more if it's not a fatal bullet. Then there are those people where one day you would take a bullet in the head for them, then the next day you wish you were holding the gun...
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Can money buy love?
What the f*ck are you kidding me? Ugh these questions sh*t me...
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2 things you dislike about yourself?
1. That I joined this stupid site to get asked questions like this. 2. The fact that I'm the kind of person to actually acknowledge this interrogative of self loathing idiocy with an answer.
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If you could live a day as a person you know with the point of views of that person, who would it be and why?
Caitlin Kloppenborg. Because she's really positive, much cleverer than I, and she's probably one of my happiest friends. There are a lot of people I'd be interested in living as, but she is the person I'd be the most comfortable being. Plus she's tall, I wanna know what that's like.
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What did you last dream about?
"I... have a dream. That one day this website will rise up and live the true meaning of its creed. We hold these truths to be self evident: that all questions are not created as f*cking sh*t as this one."
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If you could be anyone for a week, who would it be and why?
I'm not sure. Definitely a girl, because let's face it, being a chick is kinda awesome, what with the G Spot and the boo*ies and whatnot. Maybe someone famous. I'm really not sure. Maybe a female drummer, can't decide which one. Do I get all of their knowledge too?
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How many kids do you want to have?
2.
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under what cir***stances would you punch someone?
Pretty much only if they were physically threatening me or someone I love. Or someone I don't love, if I think they wouldn't kill me.
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Name a person you lied to today
I haven't lied at all today. Okay so I just lied to you.
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What if were simply a person stating that you are their best friend, simply "tagging" you?
Then that makes me wanna build a snowman. It doesn't have to be a snowman.
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Best friend
That's not even a question. There's no question mark, no request. It's not even a sentence. Hell of a noun phrase though. I've written about my best friends in a previous very very long post before this, I suggest you read that.
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how ya doin?
Quite well, how sweet of you to ask :) How about you?
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What wouldn't you do for a million dollars?
Your mum.
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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qU0Gla2Bbzk do you find this music video strange? Credibledunks
... Yeah. I do. It's... cheese
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What do you s*ck at?
Your mum's c0ck.
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It's windy and I'm scared
Lemme cuddle you <3
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It's true. I did one push up, and WAHBAYUM my nose bled.
And Jesus if you haven't heard that already I'm surprised because people bloody shared that around quick, thanks to Claudia ahhaha
I couldn't give a **** that he said that, when I saw that I giggled.
You have a cute giggle ;)
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That is so depressing that you don't recognise my handiwork... shannon500
I was 90% sure it was you, what with the word twat and made up compound swearwords. But you didn't say eff so I wasn't sure
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Oi knob-wads. Don't be twats to River's relationship. Ya'll are all too freaking serious and wanting to cause heaps of problems because you can't find your own happiness. Well guess what, nobody gives even one ****e!! Smack 'em out River.
I don't know who you are, but I'm glad I have you as a friend :)
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I don't like you ;)
I don't like broccoli.
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So you find the person you love, Montanna to be weak simply because she can't do a push-up? Wow such a great boyfriend you are, I'd love to date you...
I'd love to date you too, you seem really good at taking jokes. Again, I really don't go with this idea of weakness or strength (other than physically). There is no strong and weak, there's just people who have character to be themselves, and those who try to find the appearance of strength by upholding other people's ideals. We all have weaknesses, but no one is inherently weak.
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Have you ever farted in public?
Yes. Yes I have. At least a couple of thousand times.
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as* hole
Don't you go mentioning my wrinkle star
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now we know it wasnt shannon, who do you find weak?
Montanna can't do a pushup without getting a blood nose.
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If you could say sorry to someone, who would it be and why?
Max. The way I stopped being his friend was childish. I'm sorry Max.
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You know me too well. Like knowing that I was in for morning *ex.
That was a good morning... xD When people say "good morning!" that's what they're talking about.
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I love you
Aw I love you too... probably. I'm not sure who you are but I love a lot of people. Although I'm pretty sure that it's you, in which case I really really love you. Lots.
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Not even me. But you should still answer. Be a douche. It's got me far in life. :P shannon500
Really not you? But you're always going on about the weaknesses in other people and stuff like that. Hm.
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Oh river your a special child.
Very thpeshul :)
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Dumbest thing you've ever heard?
This question.
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Favourite past-time? What do you do for fun? Favourite hobby? One place you've always wanted to go? Do you go out to parties? Favourite colour? Craziest experience?
My answer for the first three is the same: drumming. I love drumming, for pretty much any mood. If I'm bored, mad, sad, happy, *****, tired, energetic, a good drum will fix it. Someplace I've always wanted to go would be the Moon. Really. I just want to be able to see the Earth from there, remind myself how insignificant we really are. It's something I think about a lot. I'd love to go to the Moon. Do I go out to parties? Not really, I don't enjoy it. At all. Not at all. There are very few things I can think of which I enjoy less than going to parties. Unless it's a chilled gathering, where you can talk and eat and nobody's dancing and throwing up. Yeah. I hate parties. I'd rather have Tristan Dunkley squeeze my nad for an hour. After an intense party I'll usually go home and not talk to anybody for a couple of hours with my face in a pillow trying to calm down. I don't do parties. Favourite colour is midnight blue. Craziest experience? Hmmm I dunno, I've lived a pretty vanilla life. Once I shared a hotel room with Obrad, that was scary. And once I ate food after touching a subway station escalator handrail without washing my hands.
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Who do you find weak?
Shannon, is that you? Anyway, there are a few people I can think of that are weak in character. Usually it's the people you think are the strongest that turn out will change their mind at the drop of a hat. But yeah, I'm not going to name names. Because that would make me a douche.
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But don't you find her cold? Or harsh... She doesn't seem like the nicest or most loving it caring person... How do you put up with that?
Her hands are a little cold, yeah... She doesn't put out much warmth to people with whom she isn't close. But to the people that she is the absolute closest with, she's extreeeeeeeeeeeeeemely warm. It really is like she's saving all her warmth for you. All the warmth that someone would usually give to everyone, she saves for a very few people. You know how they say some people's smiles light up a room? She has the same smile, but instead of lighting up the room, it's like a direct line of electricity right into you heart and your heart alone. Get her on her own, and if she loves you, she's very affectionate. Try to stop her from giving me a hug in the morning, or squeezing Ariel on the b00b for no reason. She's also ridiculously caring, like she understands all my little f*cked up neuroses and doesn't just put up with them, but takes them into account every day. She probably doesn't think I notice. But yeah, I didn't notice how loving she could be, not at all, until we started talking a lot. Then I guess she thought I was alright or something, and she started being quite cutesey to me (I was her favourite human apparently). But yeah, she really saves it for the people she thinks are the most important. Which makes me feel pretty special. Once you get past the fact she hates basically everyone, you get to feel what it's like to be one of the people she loves. And it's friggen awesome. And let's face it, why not hate everyone? Humans s*ck.
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A super power you wish you had?
Time stuff
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What are you really good at?
I'm pretty good at giving sarcastic responses to d*ckhead open ended questions like these. But seriously, I think I'm good at hugs. Aside from Kaity, most people seem to enjoy my hugs. Next time you see me, ask me for a hug. Ask first.
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What do you see in Montana?
Montanna* Oh so many things. Sooo many things. But I’m gonna list like 3 or 4. This is going to be long and cutesey so get a bucket so you don’t throw up on your phones. She’s really intelligent. Like she’s ditzy at times (many times), but she’s still one of the smartest girls I know. Not just academically, but she understands the world. And what she doesn’t understand, she has this thirst to understand it, never settling for ignorance. That’s the most important part. And that makes for amazing conversation. That’s what made me fall in love with her originally, just getting lost in her mind. Like Marcus said, we’re a nerd couple. Also, she is very strong-willed. She sticks by her values and she doesn’t give up. To be honest, there are a lot of things that can break her. But she always just powers through, because she’s a fighter. And I need that, I need someone strong, someone to fight for me, someone I know isn’t going to ditch when things get tough. I also love that she’s a perfectionist. She demands perfection, which makes me a better person, yet at the same time she accepts some things which other people find as faults, like my antisociability, or lack of b*m definition. But finally, she has this propensity to be the most strong, passionate, dedicated lover. I mean lover in the non-*ex way. She loves fully, wholeheartedly and unconditionally in an overwhelmingly powerful way that still takes my breath away. I can’t even describe how it is, and she lets me know every single day how loved I am, how much she appreciates me, how I don’t go unnoticed in what I do for her. It’s f*cking insane. Oh and also, have you seen her? She’s drop dead gorgeous! I’ll never get tired of that smile that she seemingly reserves for me alone. I’ve never met anyone quite like her. So that’s what I see in her.
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Should we use animals for science?
Ugh, I'm not sure. I'm really not. I know there are times when we do use them for science where we most definitely don't need to. There's a meme on the internet making fun of the experiment where you put two rats in a sealed container each, one with a plant. The one without the plant dies, and it's this concluded that the experimenter is a mad f*cker with real issues. I do know for sure that the way animals are treated when they are used for science needs to be much kinder, with much stricter guidelines and with much more supervision from governing bodies.
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Can a guy cry and is it okay?
Yes, they can. They should. Gets them in touch with a side of their mind that is there, it's definitely there, but they just don't show it.
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Realistically who will you continue to see next year after school?
Well, anyone who happens to go to the same university as me. I guess I'll see a lot more of Caitlin Kloppenborg since we wanna do the same course, and a lot of the same classes. I obviously have to keep seeing Dunks, and Henrick lives with me. I hope Kannan goes to the same uni as I do. And Montanna. Coz she's cool and stuff. <3 And some more people too I guess, but eh, who knows. I think Next year will be filled with a lot more catching up for coffees with people I haven't seen in a while.
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Next friend to go into a relationship will be?
Ugh, this is so hard! All my friends are either already in relationships or perpetually single... I really want it to be Shannon, coz he's so pathetic. But I think I'm gonna sayyyyy.... Dunks. Yeah. Or Jacqui. Toss up.
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Friend you hate the most?
Well if I hated them, I wouldn't be their friend now would I? You s*ck at questions. You should be ashamed of yourself.
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Who are your best friends and why?
I have a fair few. Get ready for a ramble. -- -- My absolute bestest friend in the world is Miss Jacqui Beaman, because she has always been there for me, and is one of the sweetest, happiest, funniest, most caring people I've ever met. She has a great runaway sense of humour, and I'd trust her with my life. I have no idea what I'd do without her. I have been friends with her since year 8, and talking to her has become a staple of my life. We have inside jokes that we don't even underQUAnd anymore. If I ever had a problem, a secret, or a story to tell, she has always been the person I'll go to first, even if I just want her to listen. There are few things in this life that could cheer me up more. Our minds by now have melded to the point where conversation is completely effortless. I don’t remember what it was like not having her as a best friend, and I don’t want to. I hope she reads this, even if she does just reply with “AWWW SHMUSHBALLS :3” in superfluous uppercase. And, I’ll tell you a secret anon: she’s one of only three people that I don’t pretend I haven’t seen Facebook messages from. My life over these past few years has been oh so much greater with her as a best friend in it, and I never ever want to lose that. And that is why she is one of my best friends. -- -- Also right up there is Mr Tristan Dunkley. This man has been with me since year seven, and he's the most loyal person I've ever met. He has not a single bad bone in his entire body, and I really do wish he and I could have more time together. Know what? I'm gonna spend some quality time with him tomorrow! Because there is nobody in the world who is more purely kind, loving and genuine than this man. He is the absolute epitome of loveliness. He is also, by a long shot, the bravest person I know. This man has not only the most beautiful heart, but the strongest too. If everyone knew him the way I know him, they would put him up on a pedestal, build statues of him and elect him as president of the universe. It is impossible to dislike this man without having a mental defect. I can't understate how much I value his friendship, and what an honour it is to be friends with a man this utterly good. And that is why he is one of my best friends. -- -- Miss Caitlin Kloppenborg. I aspire to be like you. Everything I want to be, you are even more so. Kind, funny, intelligent (and I don't just mean academically, i mean all round good at thinking), eloquent, understanding, talented. She is the only person I know in real life whom is a role model for me, she is just so "best" in every single possible way. I really would trust her with the universe, and my deepest darkest secrets within it. It is a pleasure and a relief to know that she exists on this planet, because she really just makes the world that much better. If everyone were a little more like her, I don't think anything would really be that bad. If she ever died, I’d be sad. Not only for me, but for the sake of the world. She makes it a better place. Please, if you get the chance anon, be friends with this girl and become more like her. You will not regret it. I wish I could be more like this lady. It is a ridiculous privilege to be friends with this girl, and I don’t know what I’ve done to deserve it. And that is why she is one of my best friends. -- -- Sir Kannan Pankhania I also look up to. He's the silliest, goofiest, most hilarious person I know, and the one of the only people whom my sense of humour matches almost exactly. Yet when worst comes to worst, I know that Kannan will be the most serious person there could be, would (and has) helped me through anything, and would never leave my back. He is very good at being a friend, much better than I. Definitely a man whose judgement would hold up to the most difficult test. He's more or less the reason I'm with Montanna, he helped me not have a stroke when that was all beginning, even if I did ignore his advice occasionally. In his void, I would place all my trust, and everything that I hold dear to me, because this man would never in a million years let you down. This is a good man here. A classically good man. The kind that would have been declared a knight in the middle ages, were he not Indian. And that is why he is one of my best friends. -- -- Miss Shana Vad is just an absolute ray of sunshine. There have been times when I've been at my absolute lowest, yet seeing her smile and make a dirty corny joke will cheer me up every single times. Even when nothing else possibly could. She is the personification of cheerfulness, and even when she is feeling down she never ceases to stop spreading joy. She's incredibly selfless (perhaps even too much for her own good), outstandingly caring, and I love her enough to call her my sister. I would do anything in the world for her. No one glows of positive energy more than this girl. And that is why she is one of my best friends. -- -- Mr Shannon McShortall is not at all what most people would call the perfect person. People see him as, well, a douche. Because he kind of is. However, he is, in spite of all his douchery, an incredible friend. In the face of all his hate for humanity, he has found a friend in me. In spite of all his love for spreading misery and putting a damper on people being obnoxiously happy, he holds his tongue for me. And for all his half glass empty mentality that we all love him for, he really can find the light in some things that nobody else can. Shining his black light on the universe helps him, and me, find where the real bright spots are. His in-your-face attitude and contempt for the unacceptable keeps me grounded, and helps me remember that I'm not the greatest man on the planet, as much as I'd like to think I am. And most of all, Shannon McShortall is just, when you get to know him, really awesome to be around, because no one in the world is quite like him. No one in the world can converse like him. Nobody is better and exchanging ideas than him. This man is my brother. And that is why he is one of my best friends. -- -- Ms Claudia Hall, where have you been all my life? I've only really considered Claudia a best friend for a short amount of time comparatively, but looking back there are so many times when I really think I could have used a friend like her. She knows exactly with a clear cut line the boundary between what's right and what's wrong, and no one's gonna sway her from that. All the advice that she's ever given me has been ridiculously perfect. She's been through enough in life already to be some kind of spirit guide for me. She's a genius. I'm quite sure I could tell her anything in the world, and I know that whatever she tells me will be true, or her true opinion of me. And I respect her opinion one hundred per cent. Plus she's just hilarious. I mean, puns. I can't get enough! I’ve missed you Claudia. I’ve missed you before I even met you. And that is why she is one of my best friends. -- -- Miss Kaity Brady is fun. She’s just so fun! I don’t think it’s possible to be in the company of Kaity Brady and not enjoy yourself. She has an imagination, the humour of which knows no limits. At the drop of a hat, she’s making you enjoy yourself and have a good time. She’s not into all that dramatic bull**** that holds us all down. But she does like all those drama improv games that make us piss our pants. She’s oh so down to earth, and I get the feeling that she knows that everyone else makes things much more complicated than they need to be. Which is why being friends with her is just like no loopholes happiness. You’re her friend, and it’s going to be awesome. You go up to her, say you want to be friends, and you’ve straight away got someone who is gonna be there for you when things are down, when things are up, when you need advice or just want some smiles. This isn’t to say she’s wishy-washy or anything, she’s just so amazing at being a friend! She’s absolute, genuine and flawless in everything she does involving another people. Pure friendship. It’s beautiful. She’s beautiful. And that is why she is one of my best friends. -- -- Captain Dayna Foote is someone few of you probably know. I met her in year 10. We have the same birthday. Also, she happens to be one of the coolest people I’ve ever met. She’s nerdy, and unapologetically so. I’m nerdy, but I’m half assed about it. I don’t even really play video games. But Dayna, she is exactly who she wants to be. When you’re with Dayna, you know that everything you get is complete Dayna. Which means it comes with a spiralling world of imagination, unembarrassed humour, uncontainable opinions and the heart of cute little baby, all wrapped up in a solid titanium container. I never feel like I have to set limits with myself around her, the conversation just seems to flow around an area of comfortable outrageousness. She listens to me about people she doesn’t even know and problems she doesn’t have, because she is totally awesome at being a true friend. And she knows she friggen fabulous. And that is why she is one of my best friends. -- -- There’s another man, who is no longer my best friend. He’s much more than that. Henrick Huynh is one hundred percent family. So I’m not going to say why he is what he is to me. I hope he already knows.-- -- I love all of these people oh so very very much. They are more or less my life. There are others, this list is by no means exhaustive, but these are the people that come to my mind first when I think of the words “best friend”. Who the hell is this blessed to be able to write this much about this many best friends? I feel very lucky. I have friends that I don’t put in this category, because they are something different, yet equal. Like a big brother *cough Joseph <3* or an uncle or a weird daughter, or a girlfriend who is my universe. But these people, anon, are my best friends. Thanks for your question.
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Congratulations! You've experienced your first lot of internet hate! How was it?
Eh, not too bad to be honest. Nothing I didn't already know. Although they did insult someone whom I love very much. So f*ck them. F*ckwit.
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Would you ever snort pop rock powder? Jessiebobessie
Only if I were getting paid.
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I have an issue, sometime's I visit the morgue and eat some of the bodies laying around. Mainly older people (they're more juicy). Should I stop? :/
Well I dunno. My advice is to just eat from the places nobody's gonna see at the funeral. Upper arms, b*m, genitals, etc. That way you get your fill and nobody is gonna wonder why there's a bite out of Grandpa Jim's earlobe at the funeral.
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Deleted any messages yet?
Yes, just one. Someone said some things about me that would have been much nicer if they could have said it to me non-anonymously so we could actually talk it out and be friendly. They must have been sitting on that for a while since hey wrote it up so quickly. Why do people bottle things up, anon? Why can't they just tell people and get **** out in the open? Like Shannon. Shannon says whatever the **** is on his mind, even if it's about f*cking small children. And he's happy as Larry, despite what he wants us all to think. I think we all need to take a little lesson in honesty from him, and just say what we want to say, and say it in a way that can actually be constructive. Otherwise it's just emotional mas*********.